I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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