hotel room ftw
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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