We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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