Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize