i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize