I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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