it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize