I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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