Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize