Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The air taste purple.
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