i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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