Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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