He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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