Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize