1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize