My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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