I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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