Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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