When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize