I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize