This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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