It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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