I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize