You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize