oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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