Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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