If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize