Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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