he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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