some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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