Sry I called you an 8
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
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He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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