is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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