If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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