We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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