he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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