he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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