haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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