This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize