sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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