Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize