i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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