Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
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