Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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