Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize