your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize