I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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