so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize