I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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