It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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