Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize